Downsizing

In the past few years, my family has been forced into downsizing mode a couple of times. The first time was 5 years ago when I was “retired” from a job I had been at for 25 years. The second time is right now, as my wife has suffered the same fate, just about a week after her health insurance kicked in. This is not necessarily the worst thing in the world. It allows you to confront all of the “stuff” you’ve accumulated that is just taking up space. Space that you wouldn’t need without all the “stuff.”

If there had to be a slogan for the first decade of the 21st century, it would have to be “Downsize”. We have gotten to a point of overindulgence that has the word coming out of everyone’s mouth. Gas prices too high? Downsize your car. Mortgage rates too steep? Utility bills killin’ ya’? Downsize your home. Can’t get into your jeans? Downsize your meals. Universe becoming to convoluted? Let’s get rid of Pluto. It’s no longer a planet, anyway. We’re even downsizing our solar system.

For years now, we’ve been inundated with “Super” sizing. Want the super gigunda industrial sized Fries with that? We’ve defined ourselves by having bigger and better. My truck is bigger than your truck. My house is bigger than your house. I can eat more from the all-you-can-eat buffet than you can. Which, then, unfortunately leads to : my cholesteral numbers are higher than yours. And, I need more bypass surgeries than you do. We are getting a little better, but, we still need help.

So, here’s my idea for a company that could, conceivably help out and make a buck. We have a tendency to jump on bandwagons and follow trends (which, I suppose is why they are trends in the first place). Since we’ve all got some aspect of our lives that is out of control due to overindulgence, why not set up a service that helps people to moderate. Sort of a consulting firm for the out of control. Someone to consult when we want to buy a car who will steer us away from the Hummers and toward the Priuses. Someone we can consult when it’s mealtime who will push us away from the “all-you-can-eat” buffet and sit us at the “just-what-you-need” table. Someone who realizes that we don’t need 12 bedrooms, 5 fireplaces and two pools for a family of 3. Someone who can help us to downsize from all the super sizing we’ve been doing for the past too many years to count.

There are individuals who help people to cope with some of these problems individually. They are called “Life Coaches” and they come in a wide array of skill levels and areas of expertise. You can find a life coach to help you with your love life, one who will do your budgeting, one to consult about eating habits and one to help you shop. What we need is a one-stop life coach shop that will supply all of the services at once. A place to go for all of your downsizing and getting back into some semblance of shape needs. No longer will having all we want entitle us to way more than we need. What we need will become all we could ever want. Satisfaction guaranteed.

I want to start this agency with about 10 life coaches and I want to build it to a staff of 25 within 6 months. And in the end, my downsizing company will be bigger than your downsizing company. Nya nya nya nya nya nya.

THAT’S HOW I FEEL WHAT CAN I TELL YA’