DEATH OF AN OLD FRIEND

A way of life, less loved than taken for granted, is nearing an end and the signs are everywhere, no more so than within the fading relationship we have with good sense. You see, an old friend has been dying a slow death over the past few decades. That old friend is known as common courtesy. I was first introduced to common courtesy by virtue of a whack in the back of the head for failure to address an elder as "sir" or "ma'am." My grandmother was raised in Hampton, Va. in a time when courtesy was understood as "just the way it is." This was an attitude that she passed down to her daughter, my Mother who, in turn, passed it down to me to share with my kids. This is where I began to see my old friend start to fade. Now don't get me wrong. I have 5 kids and every one of them is polite almost to a fault. They have learned their lessons well. It's the world around us. I remember getting a call from an irate teacher who informed me that my son was being sarcastic and she didn't appreciate it one bit, You see, he had` the unmitigated gumption to refer to her as "ma'am." I would love to have seen the look on her face when I told her that he was “taught that in the home, ma'am.” When did "No, sir" become "uh uh" and "I beg your pardon" transform into "Huh?" In this age of  down sizing when it has really made sense to get a smaller car, a smaller home, a smaller diet, we have, apparently, spilled the practice over into areas that need to become more not less. We have downsized courtesy. We have become decourtesized. And, the signs are evident wherever you go......under the simplest of circumstances. When is the last time you can remember someone saying "Thank you" when you held a door. Come to think of it, when is the last time you remember someone holding a door. Everyone is in so much of a hurry and so deeply buried in electronic devices that they can't take the time for a "thank you," an "excuse me," or an "oops, I'm sorry." They often don't even bother to acknowledge your very existence. When they realize there is someone else, not only on the planet but in their very vicinity, they look at you as if your nose is on crooked.  I, personally, like to embarrass people. I'll hold a door and when they whisk past as if the sea was expected to part for them, I like to say, really loud ,"You're welcome." Most people become deaf at that point and just keep walking, brushing off that annoying little pest that just flitted by. Occasionally they look as if they were planning to say "Thanks,” but their mind was somewhere else…..oops. Maybe that's the problem. Pay attention. No matter how many of these signs are right in front of our faces.........we only bump into them and keep walking with our eyes pointed down. A few weeks ago, I got a speeding ticket. I was certainly in the wrong. I was 15 miles over the limit and deserved the citation. I was so taken aback when the officer said "Thank you for your courtesy," because I didn't yell and scream about how wrong this was, that my reflex response was, "Thank YOU for the job you do." I may have had to pay the ticket, but we both became richer for the courtesy. It takes more facial muscles to frown that to smile. Relax. Smile. Look up every once in a while.......try to be a little more polite. Thank you!