Late Expectations

It’s a shame this month’s topic isn’t procrastination. I have that all figured out. In fact, I’m doing it right now. Oh, look, Stevie Nicks and Sheryl Crow are on Oprah and they’re holding hands as they talk about how Sheryl has been cancer free for 5 years, but I digress. Too bad the topic isn’t digression, but, I digress again. Now I’m being redundant, which is also not the topic. I almost expect Harpo and Chico to walk in and join the conversation. Oh yeah - expectations.

There was a wonderful song that was recorded by Billie Holliday in 1936 called “No Regrets.” The title immediately brings to mind a bit of advice from my grandfather that I have never forgotten and that I try to keep in mind whenever I try to move things along at too fast a pace because I have a pre realized outcome in mind. I can be very impulsive and have, a time or twelve, acted or spoken without thinking. The results have always been less than stellar. In fact, in many cases, less than stellar would have been preferable. My grandfather said, essentially, that if you have no expectations, you will have no regrets.

I can’t even remember the number times I’ve ventured into some hair-brained scheme, with the expectation of making a million bucks, only to end up like Lucy & Ethel, completely discombobulated at the end of a bonbon assembly line. The key, as I was to learn as I got older and, thus, wiser, was just what my grandfather had said. No expectations - no regrets. It’s simple, yet, brilliant. All I had to do was look back at my career.

I decided to get into radio when I was 8 years old. My mom had arranging a field trip for the Cub Scouts to WDRC in Hartford. I remember the feeling the very first time I walked into a studio. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood up and my heart started beating with feelings of excitement and awe. That never went away. I got those feelings each time I walked into a studio, which was every morning, for more than 4 decades. It was never about money. Heaven knows, money is not a reason to do radio. A decent salary in radio, especially today, is often referred to as: “A moot point!” And yet, by the time I got to a certain point in my career, the rewards came and, I might add, with no regrets along the way. Because I had no expectations along the way. There was nothing to come tumbling down. Things just happened organically and, the things I might have expected, but didn’t….came to be.

I like to refer to “have no expectations and you’ll have no regrets” as my “Grandpa Mantra.” It’s rock solid advice that I have tried to pass on to my kids with the (ahem) expectation that they will probably have to wait until they get older to - Oh, wow, now Pat Benatar is on Oprah singing “Love is a Battlefield.” She sounds great, but, I digress again, but, hey - what’d you expect? I’m trying not to procrastinate in bringing this ship into port….geez, now I’m alluding - I’ll stop!