CELEBRITY TALES - AS I REMEMBER THEM:PETER FRAMPTON

“Nice day for soccer,” I thought as I trotted onto the field at Veteran’s Stadium in Philadelphia on that gorgeous Saturday in 1977. This was going to be a star studded event and I was asked to be the honorary co-captain of a brand new team for this charity raising game. After all, WYSP was the #1 rock & roll station in town with a good deal of the credit going to the top rated morning team of “Fox & Leonard.” Two man morning radio was unheard of on FM back then. FM was still a relative newcomer and most rock & roll disc jockeys whispered. They were just THAT cool. All of the ratings and, subsequently, advertising dollars, went to the big AM stations. That was a time when the words “clear channel” had everything to do with a transmitter. It was not yet the name of a company that would come along later and monopolize the business, contributing to the downfall of all that was entertaining and fun about radio for the listener AND the practitioner. Being the “Leonard” half of the team didn’t hurt when it came time for perks and this was a good one. Veteran's Stadium was filled with luminaries. Rick Wakeman and Mick Jagger were part owners of the new team, Paul Simon was there, James Taylor had lagged behind just a bit because he was holding the door for “regular folk” who had come to the extravaganza. I told a joke and the woman in front of me swung her head around and laughed. How flattered I was when I realized that I had just gotten a mouth full of Gilda Radners hair. Like I said, this was a star-studded event and the stands were packed with people who probably couldn’t have cared less about soccer, but, were fans of the likes of Yes, the Rolling Stones and Fox & Leonard. I couldn’t help but notice the amount of people in the stands. And, here I was, on the field as part of “the show.” I saw that Peter Frampton was an honorary co-captain of the opposing team. Not a bad choice, as “Frampton Comes Alive” had been released a short time earlier. It was recorded live at Winterland and had soared to the top of the charts. He was riding high with a huge hit record. As I crossed the field towards him, I held out my hand to shake his and when I got close enough, I introduced myself. “Hi, Peter, I’m Bob Leonard from WYSP. I’m the honorary co-captain of the other team. Welcome to Philly.” He looked at me, turned and walked away, completely ignoring my greeting and my hand. A lot of people witnessed this cold shoulder, so it came as no surprise the next day when I was on the air and the promotion person walked into the studio to announced the arrival of Peter Frampton who was going to come on my show to plug the album and try to pick up a few more sales. “Not on MY show,” I said and I asked the promo guy to close the door behind him. The general manager then came in saying, “Hey, that’s Peter Frampton, don’t you realize that he has the #1 album in the country?” “Yes, I do,” I responded, “If you want him on the air that badly, YOU do the interview.” and I walked out of the studio. Peter Frampton did not go on the air at WYSP that day but, fortunately, I had ratings and I still had my job.

AMAZED, FLUMMOXED AND BEWILDERED........AM I

I live in a world of convolution……and yes, it is a word. It means puzzlement. I have imagined, over the years, that the more steps something takes, the more satisfied I will are with the results. I sometimes even show a tendency of taking the long way from point a. to point b. because it then makes it seem as if I've accomplished a great feat when, in reality, it's probably as easy as....oh, I don't know……going from point a. to point b. I have a tendency to get lost, however, if there are more than two or three steps. Just like any other puzzle......I always seem to have parts left over when I'm done. I am always looking for the easy way out. And yet, I never seem to think in simple terms when it comes to trying to solve a puzzle. It seems more thorough to consider all possible angles that will lead to a solution. That's why I prefer word puzzles. There won't be any letters left to throw in a box like extra screws when I'm done. One day recently, I picked up the phone and heard no dial tone. Immediately, I panicked and began to imagine all of the scenarios as to why the phone wasn't working. I was making it too complicated right off the bat. I began to go over my checklist of things that could have gone wrong. First, I checked the other phones in the house and, sure enough, they were all silent. My first instinct, since we have our phones bundled with the TV and computers on our cable system, was to curse the cable company and all of it's perceived incompetence, while shaking my fist in the air like a Three Stooge. That I did well. Then I tried turning on the TV. It worked as did the computers, so it wasn't not a signal problem. My next move was to use a little trick the cable guy taught me the last time all of my communication with the outside world was cut off. I went to the modem, pulled out the battery,, unplugged it (which was a puzzling step in itself because both turn off the power) and counted to thirty. I suspect twenty nine would not be enough time and thirty one would be too much, so, at thirty on the dot, I plugged it back in and re-installed the battery - or was it the other way around, I never can remember the order of that step. Needless to say, the phones were still dead. Must have hit the thirty one second mark. Now it was time to call the cable company on my trusty, little flip phone so I could get one of their crack associates to walk me through whatever steps I had to take to get my phones back. The guy with the foreign accent named Chip (or was it Teddy) told me to find the phone jack on the back of the modem and follow the cord to where it plugged in to the wall. To do that I had to go into the bedroom and move the desk and the bed and the dresser.. That's where the cord went......or so I thought. When I got to the other end, I realized that all of the furniture rearranging was totally unnecessary as the phone jack for the room was on another wall under the window. It turned out I really didn't need to follow the little gray "yellow brick road" that lead me to the wall jack. It was right next to - on the wall. It was when I reached my final destination, however, that I realized how in vain the entire day had been. That was where I pushed the plug back into the wall, picked up the now working phone and dialed the cable company so I could thank Chip or Teddy for his expert assistance in getting me to the phone jack in my bedroom from a call center in Manila. I have, since, invested in a "smart" phone. One that is, ultimately, quite a bit smarter than I am. The next time I forget to connect our land line, all I have to do is tell my "smart" phone to "call the cable company" so that Chip or Teddy can remind me to check the plug. Now, if I could only tell my "smart" phone to do actual "plugging," I can even cut out the middle man, whether it is Chip OR Teddy. I'm pretty sure there's an App for that but now I'm puzzled about how to find it on my smarter-than-me-phone.

CELEBRATE APRIL

I saw a sign while driving the other day. It was a flashing sign that said “Work Zone Awareness Week.” I wasn’t sure if I should buy a cake, send a card or just be aware of work zones, which I kind of thought I already was. Shouldn’t we be aware of work zones whenever we drive? If we aren’t, we could, conceivably hurt someone or break our car through the simple act of being oblivious. There are a lot of similar celebrations that we are probably unaware of. I did a little research because I don’t want to walk through life with blinders on and because, like everyone else, I’m always looking for an excuse to have a party. I found some pretty good ones. Daily, weekly, monthly….people will celebrate just about anything, and why not? Some things just don’t get the recognition they deserve. April, for instance is Straw Hat Month. I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen anyone wearing a straw hat except in movies about the 20’s and 30’s when people wore straw hats on their Sunday walks by the river. It’s also Fair Housing Month, which in our economy is almost an oxymoron. There doesn’t seem to be very much that’s fair about the housing market these days. In April we have International Whistlers Week…for all of those people worldwide, who’ve forgotten the words. There is also Sky Awareness Week for everyone who’s apparently been looking down for the rest of the year. There is another week that, according to the calendar I am reading, is set aside for Passover or Pesach, whichever you want to celebrate. Take your pick. I don’t have the heart to tell them that Passover IS Pesach and vice-versa. And, who doesn’t get excited over Cowboy Poetry Week…..”There once was a varmint from Nantucket”…well, WEST Nantucket, but I think you get the picture. As for the celebratory days in April, there are far too many and too little space. Here are a few I thought you might enjoy: Tweed Day…..right smack, dab in the middle of Straw Hat Week…making April also Early 20th Century Fashion Statement Month. St. Stupid Day….that’s a mass celebration, attended by millions worldwide. They simply go though their lives just being themselves. They don’t even know it’s a holiday. There is Tangible Karma Day…I'll do a good deed if you give me something tangible in return. Cash is always nice karma. April 15th is, of course, Income Tax Day AND, ironically Take a Wild Guess Day, which has been my tax filing philosophy for as long as I can remember. It is also That Sucks Day, which, I imagine, is just a more creative way of saying Income Tax Day. There are others…..National Hairball Awareness Day, Hug an Australian Day, National Chocolate Covered Cashews Day and, my personal favorite, Blah! Blah! Blah! Day……you know that one. It falls on the 17th…yadda, yadda, yadda. This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg and only for April. The other 11 months are equally as fulfilling when it comes to holidays that we’ve never knew existed, but, just reading through April began to make my head spin. As I continued my journey through the celebratory days, weeks and month long lists, I decided to try and find a day where absolutely nothing was going on…and I was hard pressed to find any. There is not a single day when something isn’t being feted. Not one day where we could say…..”Look, there is nothing happening today, why don’t we celebrate the peace and tranquility of nothing and call it “Nothing Day.” Too bad…it might have been a good reason to throw a party