MY PROBLEM WITH CARS

I can state, pretty unequivocally, that every car I've ever owned has come with it's own set of problems. This sorry state of affairs began in 1966 when I bought my very first car. It was a light blue 1955 Oldsmobile with a huge black spot on the rear quarter panel on the passenger side. Upon careful inspection, it was obvious that it was electrical tape used to hide an enormous area that had fallen prey to body rot. It had been previously owned by a Sgt. Scarborough with whom I was stationed about 30 miles from Nashville and who was about to ship out for his first tour of duty in Vietnam. He offered to sell it to me for $75. It was an offer I couldn't refuse and, as I was about to learn, should never have taken. The car was a disaster from the word “go.” It broke down nearly every time I tried to drive it and I was forced to leave it on the side of the road nearly every other day. I had to get rid of it and I knew I would never recoup my $75 so, the last time it broke down and I had to hitchhike back to the base, I left it there. The last time I saw it, it was still on the side of the highway, the tires were gone and the engine had been ravaged for parts. It would have cost me a lot more to have it towed than I paid for it so, that's when I decided that enough was enough and I just left it there. Hitchhiking was easier and much more reliable. My first car had become my toughest lesson. A lesson I was reminded of on a daily basis as I caught rides to town and had to ride past it's deteriorating carcass. Having never been rich, I found myself relying on “used” cars whenever I was forced to be “in the market.” My reasoning being that it was “new” to me. Unfortunately, the semantics of justification never really worked. The cars all had problems. In the mid 70's, while once again looking for a decent car in my price range, I let the dealer talk me into a used Audi 5000. It was loaded with luxurious options from heated seats to power everything. The one thing that should have given me a clue was that it still had relatively few miles on it and was sitting in a used car lot. There was a reason it was there. The previous owner or owners apparently found out and got rid of it. The biggest issue with the Audi was that it was recalled for having a mind of it's own. We didn't pay a lot of attention to what we had heard or read....we liked the car so we bought it. The problems with the Audi were driven home on the day that it decided to drive itself into a corn field with my ex-wife behind the wheel. It took a tow truck with a long winch and about 2 hours to retrieve it so we could drive it to a dealer and get something else. Of course, whatever we drove out of the dealership was also used and eventually fell apart. By the early 90's, the marriage came to an end and she got the house and the car. Since I had always settled for used cars, I decided to treat myself to something new and exciting. I bought a red 240Z, drove it off the lot and made a stop at an appliance store on the way. When I came out, I saw a car leaving a parking space and running smack, dab into the side of my new “toy.” I couldn't even get it home before wrecking it. Fast forward to current day and my current vehicle. We moved to South Florida more than a dozen years ago and eventually landed less that a mile from the beach and ½ mile from a downtown area that I like to characterize as “Greenwich Village with palm trees.” Our car was old and was starting to fall apart so we bought our current car, new about 5 years ago. It has been through it's share of bumps, bruises and fender-benders but we've fixed it and have assured that we can keep it in great shape because we walk everywhere we go. In the5 years of owning this car we finally discovered the secret to keeping our car in good, running condition. We have nowhere to go. Problem solved!