AHA........UH OH

I've always heard that “necessity” was the mother of invention. That's why I began to wonder, aloud in a few cases, just what the necessity was that prompted some of the concoctions that have been popping up in my line of sight lately. While perusing an airline shopping magazine on a recent flight, I noticed a gadget that allows you to use your smart phone underwater. The first and, I might add, the only thought that popped into my head was, “I suppose if you need a GPS to get to the other side of the pool, it might come in handy, but, other than that why, on earth, would anyone want to bring their phone under water?” Maybe to watch “Jaws” from the sharks perspective? I decided to see if I could find more inventions that had absolutely no practical use and the results were staggering. I thought I'd share a few. I found Twitter toilet paper: It's sold in packs of 4 for $35 and you can choose between your own tweets or someone else's. Look – you get to read while you're on the john and, when you're done, make a statement that, ideally, no one will ever know about. How about Princess Leia Headphone Covers: For all the die-hard 'Star Wars' fans out there, now you can look more like Princess Leia than ever. You can also use your headphones to drown out the sound of the Death Star destroying Leia's home planet of Alderaan. Although, to the uninitiated, it may appear as though you are wearing hairy cinnamon buns on your ears......you may have some 'splainin' to do. Then, there's the Solar Baseball Cap: Chances are the best way to keep cool is NOT to mount a solar panel on top of your head and a plastic fan directly in front of your face. I guess it's the thought that counts. Love the taste of bacon, but cholesterol issues keeping you away? Try bacon flavored wax dental floss. You'll go hog wild for THIS meaty piece of idiocy. These and myriad others are everywhere. So you see, necessity isn't really the mother of invention after all. In fact, I'm convinced that the only TRUE Mother of Invention that can't be contested was Frank Zappa! THAT'S HOW I FEEL................WHAT CAN I TELL YA'