BLINDED BY THE SOUND

I saw a Facebook post from a friend in Chicago that says he will be at Navy Pier to broadcast the 4th of July fireworks this year for WGN.........radio - not TV. That's right, fireworks on the radio. I know how silly the concept sounds. Radio is an “audio” medium and fireworks are a smidge more “visual” in nature. There is a distinct difference between the two senses that would suggest broadcasting fireworks on the radio would be an exercise in futility, at best. The concept, however, is quite doable. It just depends on how adept the broadcaster is at using words to create “theater of the mind,” so as to allow the listener to see the images in their heads. And, of course, his post immediately reminded me of a story. In the early '80's, the ABC Radio Network was still the Satellite Music Network, based in Mokena, Illinois, a suburb 30 miles southeast of Chicago. We were a relatively small, emergent company that, at the time, had two formats with about 20 or 30 affiliates between us. The concept of broadcasting, for 24 hours a day, via satellite, to small and medium markets was in its infancy and we were forced to set up shop where we did, in a Chicago suburb. The technology was as new as the concept and the only satellite we could “link up” to was WGN's in Mokena. We had to rent space on “the bird.” The biggest difference between satellite broadcasting then and now had to be our charade of pretending to be local. It was a brilliant, but fatally flawed, idea which I always felt was kind of idiotic. We would record 50 “liners” per quarter for each affiliate. Each liner would be 5 to 7 seconds long and would identify the radio station and, consequently, the talent as live and local. These liners contained all kinds of information – call letters and frequencies, public service announcements, local tie-ins – anything that made us sound as if we were sitting right there at the radio station with our “stacks of wax,” entertaining the local gentry. If executed properly, the radio stations did, indeed, sound as if we were right there. People would occasionally drive to the local stations looking for us to meet their local celebs, bring us food and, in my case, every once in a while, to kick my ass because of something that I might have thought was funny and they didn't. Many of the affiliate stations were incapable of pulling it off. They sounded sloppy and the fact that they had “major market” talent working there made no sense at all. We had all come from large and major market radio and tiny markets like Bell Buckle, Tennessee and Mule Shoe, Texas would never be able to muster up a staff like that, financially or otherwise. There were, however, a few stations that were able to execute things flawlessly. These were the ones that “got it” and it showed. They would bring us to their markets to do personal appearances and remote broadcasts and they always sounded great. These were the stations that proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what we were trying to do did, in fact, work. They had the ratings and they made the ad sales......bottom line. One such affiliate was north of us, in Crystal Lake, Illinois, a tiny town, if memory serves (and that's debatable these day) quite near the Wisconsin border. They would bring us up for “remotes” all the time. We could drive there, unlike many affiliates that would have to fly us to them, put us up and feed us, and the station took full advantage of their proximity. I was the morning guy and spent many a weekend doing broadcasts from local car dealers and new store openings. It was a pretty easy ride and I always got paid. Whatever they asked me to do – I did. One mid-June day, I got a call asking me if I would drive up to broadcast the 4th of July fireworks. My initial reaction was to shake my head and utter a befuddled, Scooby Doo like “Huh?” Fireworks.....on the radio? “Why not,” I thought. I had done some pretty bizarre stuff in my career to that point, including broadcasting from a car that I lived in for three days, raised high above a new car dealership in Philadelphia. ABC's Jim Hickey who was, at the time, a reporter for a local Philly TV news team, even interviewed me from a cherry picker. Fireworks? OK. The big evening had arrived, we had all enjoyed a lovely dinner and dusk was making way for “dark enough for the show.” We set up all the wires and knobs we needed (this was before the “digital” age) to do our broadcast, although, I still had no clue what I was going to say or do. That's when I got an idea: I gathered as big a crowd as I could find to stand around me and every time we heard a boom I would say “Red” and cue the crowd to go, “Oooooooooohhh,” another boom, “Blue,” “Ooooooohhh.” I am going to assume that it worked. As ridiculous as it felt, the affiliate was happy, they sold the broadcast to sponsors and people tuned in. So, my friend in Chicago, I say have at it. 4th of July fireworks, from Navy Pier, live on WGN radio. You can make it work if you want to. Happy Birthday America!