For Their Age

A big night at our house usually involves the rental of two or three videos rather than our usual one. We recently had a big night, albeit a 2 movie big night. There just weren’t three movies that we hadn’t already seen. One of the movies was called “The Sentinal” with Michael Douglas and, essentially, an all star cast. In one scene we found Michael Douglas and Kim Bassinger having a passionate moment that involved them starting the process of undressing each other to lead to that moment of bliss. That’s when my wife commented about how great they both looked for their age and I realized that there was a time when this scene would have been quite a turn on. The reason it wasn’t ? Three words. For their age. Here were two post 50 actors who had been among the sexiest of the sexy trying to rekindle the magic that once lit up the screen. This time, the camera stayed on them for all of 8-10 seconds, when it apparently realized that there were younger and sexier actors in this movie. A camera with a mind of it’s own. I say thank you.
Remember Kathy Bates and Jack Nicholson naked in the hot tub in “About Schmidt ?” Of course you don’t. There was nothing memorable about it. Oh sure, two of our finest actors stripped down in a terrific movie, but it’s not a sight you want stuck in your mind. Remember…..For their age. I guess that makes it OK. Now, if it was Jessica Simpson and Mark Wahlberg naked in a hot tub, it would be indelibly etched in our collective memory, but Kathy Bates is in a chronic state of sag. And Jack Nicholson ? Well, honestly, I didn’t even look. I’m sure he looks great. For his age.
Aesthetically, do we really want to see these scenes ? I’m sure they’re germane to the plotline, but couldn’t they be understood? Or how about using body doubles. I’m sure a good make-up artist could turn Jessica Simpson into the spitting image of Kathy Bates. Honestly, who’d be looking at her face anyway .
We are obsessed with youth and I see no problem with that. After watching all of these actors trying to recapture, I came to the conclusion that, in some respects, youth is not only not wasted on but belongs to the young. When we get to that age range where a man’s prostate gets bigger than his ego and a woman starts to droop, there just isn’t enough plastic surgery in the world that will make us look young and desirable. It always looks as if there was “too much work” done. Nothing natural about it. Leave the love scenes to the kids. We older folks will use our wits and our wisdom, although, it sure didn’t work in “The Sentinal.” Shortly after the alleged love scene, I turned the movie off. I guess it was just a bit too convoluted for a guy my age.

THAT’S HOW I FEEL. WHAT CAN I TELL YA’