Yummy

Talk about disappointment. I woke up with my heart set on a good breakfast. In my mind, I could visualize the eggs. Over- well……whites done, yolks runny. On the side, some crispy bacon, perhaps a generous serving of corned beef hash, smothered in ketchup, with home fries and rye toast, slathered with cream cheese and a nice big glass of tomato juice to wash it all down. That’s what I had in mind….and, all I got was this lousy smoothie, which. I’m reminded, is loaded with wheat germ. I don’t want to eat germs…..I want to eat eggs and bacon.

I’ve gotten used to quite a bit of loss in my culinary life. There was a time when a visit to a different ethnic restaurant a day was “how I rolled.” There was nothing I wouldn’t try, much to my chagrin on some days and my delight on others. Then, I was diagnosed with Diabetes, the scourge of the rich food world. My wife and I became proactive and began subtracting elements of our diet because, as the bumper sticker I wrote clearly proclaims…”If you eat like a diabetic, you will never become one.” Since I already was one, we started to color code our food. Essentially, if it is white, we don’t eat it, White, pasta, white potatoes, white sugar, white flour…all verboten. They are bad carbs that process too quickly and turn to sugar in your body and make you sick. It’s a bit of a drag, but, you learn to live with….nay, enjoy it. After a while you can start to taste the little bits of chocolate in the chocolate flavored rice cakes and even the stuff that gives you the impression that you’ve just eaten a cardboard box begins tasting less like the box and more like what may have been inside. You look forward to that subtle little hint of taste and it becomes a game. Identify the taste and win a kewpie doll. What a great carnival game.

This doesn’t mean that we have completely turned our back on all things tasty. Especially on holidays that fall on weekends. Because we believe that anything is OK in moderation, we tend to cut loose a bit (at least for us) on those occasions. The 4th of July weekend was a real treat. We had some people drop by so I was assured that what went on the grill would not only be edible but somewhat tasty as well. There would be a modicum of fat in the meat and maybe even a real potato in the potato salad. Suddenly, all begins to feel normal again, but then the weekend is over I am informed that since it is summer, we have to watch our weight and the first thing I am handed when I get up is the smoothie filled with wheat germ. Don’t you just love it when “we” have to lose weight so that “we” can fit into those shorts and bathing suits? When did fitting into clothing become a team sport?

The way we have been eating and, apparently will continue to eat controls the diabetes and is good for my heart. When my wife told me that I was having pizza for lunch, I got excited, until I saw the pizza. It’s made with whole wheat pita bread on top of which we find spinach and artichokes and a little feta cheese. Nowhere is there a glimpse of the sugary goodness of a well crafted tomato sauce or the gooey wonder of at least four different melted cheeses (although, a nice hunk o’ mozzarella would suffice). I know this may be asking a lot…..but, do you think someone could, maybe, slip me a pepperoni?

THAT’S HOW I FEEL WHAT CAN I TELL YA’